Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
