I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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