think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
