People with herpes should wear stickers.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
