i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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