i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
