sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
