he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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