$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
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