ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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