Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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