Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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