We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
