some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
