i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
