Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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