Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
