shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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