Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
