im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
