honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize