When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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