just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
