Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
These tits shall not be calmed
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
