Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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