I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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