It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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