are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
we should paint friendship bongs
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