yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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