i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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