i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
