his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
NoShamevember. You game?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
