i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
