i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
