My nipple is on Facebook.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We are two peas in an std pod
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize