Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
