I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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