In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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