i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
