what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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