FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is classic penis vs brain.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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