Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
