She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
