***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
