i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
