Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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