I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
there is glitter all over my balls
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
