Porn is love you can see.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
