well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
