just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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