Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
