Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
