I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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