dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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