just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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