Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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