Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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