Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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