Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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