I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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