Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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